This chapter will be the only fiction in the book. The Story of the Stork was true. And this is my only effort at what literary people call "writing." Since it is so close to the end of the book, I am sure everybody will be willing to read it, if they have lasted this long.

Now the Story is of "Clarkesville," any American city from fifty to five hundred thousand. I shall speak of it as my own, my hometown, but it very likely is yours.

First of all, progress has come to Clarkesville. We had saints and sinners in the days just after the Spanish War. But now we are up and coming, although most of the big shots got scared to death in the depression and nearly lost their shirts, and wits. The story of our smug-mugs and self-proclaimed lovers of the Constitution and of all that is right and pure, as well as some of our good people, is worth knowing.

There are William Brown, the banker, Raphael T. Coward, the biggest big-shot in the city, James John Murphy and Judge Horatius Smith, both lawyers, and both considered dependable by the outside interests that exploit their part of the State. Then there is Frank Jones, Jr., one of the most substantial men in that part of the State, and Morris White, one of the poorest and the loudest, old man Keats and Herman Strockbein. Also, Dr. Joe Carter.

William Brown is head of a national bank. His famiy started the bank some time ago, and in due order Bill was sent off to Yale where he was treated to a four-year education. Then he came back to the hometown.

He is one of the bankers in our State. He helped build the city; at least he helped himself. He, truth to tell, is not like the Big Boys in New York, and never lost anybody any money. This makes him fairly self-righteous. Besides that he is very patriotic, and no one owes him money questions it. He had Revolutionary forefathers, so he feels that anyone who wants change or progress is a revolutionist, and ought to be put in jail.

Mr. Brown is a Conservative. In fact, he opposes government relief, and also "coddling" the people. He believes in "sturdy" virtues. He undoubtedly does his philanthropic work in secret, because no one has any record of it.

Before the last election he was very popular because he told people in private conversation that he had authentic information direct from a man who knew, and who was a psychiatrist, that the President was insane, and was going to destroy the country. He becomes violent when he talks about the President of his country, but that is the province of the elite. He says the country is going to the dogs with Roosevelt.

Bill hates all "politicians" and regards all of them as corrupt, especially if they believe in the guarantee of bank deposits. He says bankers ought to be let alone altogether by the Government. He says we should return to safety and sanity.

Then there is our friend Raphael T. Coward. I give this character a Biblical first name inasmuch as he is so angelic. He is a sturdy type of American, sure enough. He was a farmer boy. After he grew up he moved around in other countries and, by a discreet use of the currency system in connection with Latin-American officials, he became very rich. In middle age, he moved to Clarkesville, where he established himself as an upstanding citizen, joined the Chamber of Commerce and was known as the big, bold, brave pioneer in individual enterprise.

The young men about town always said that he was shrewd. He bought utilities low, watered them well, and panned them off to the public. Some said that he was very pious, although some remarked privately his middle name stood for Thief. But he has spent enough money to be respected by the community—from which he steals. This is evidenced by the high positions he has attained and the smiles that greet him as he walks down the street with his bodyguard, which he needs.

Coward praises private industry, and when you hear him talking about the boy who made good, it is easy to see that the hero is Coward. He is very much out of sympathy with radicals. Besides being a respected member of the Chamber of Commerce, especially during annual collections, he is he is a high ranking member of the church. One time the pastor got to saying things about the rights of the common people, but Raphael had a private conference with him. The preacher, knowing that discretion was the better part of valor, concluded he would leave the common people directly in the hands of God.

He is a Democrat and has high ideals, and no one doubts it, for he made a contribution of so many grand that Jim Farley nearly fell dead, and said, grandissimo!! grandissimo!! Raphael, the Angel, was soon flying high.

He winged into a big project, and without putting up so much as a dime, he "made" nearly a million dollars. Indeed there was no waste in that, for Raphael believes in the Conservation of Resources—that is, Raphael's resources. Although the President had befriended him, he told his business associates that the President was no good.

The important thing about these two leading citizens, the Honorable William Brown and the Honorable Raphael T. Coward, is that they are against Communism and against government weakening the moral fiber of our citizenship. They are especially worried about the moral fiber, which made our country great. The idea of the government wasting a lot of money on soil conservation is, well, just Communism, pure and simple.

Raphael, like Bill, believes in private initiative and in letting business alone. In fact when he built his skyscraper he gave all the men the freedom of contract—to work at wages about half what was usually paid. Also he did all his contracting individually, believing it hurt men's morals to have anything to do with a union.

James John Murphy, called "Jim" by some, and "John" by others, is a leading lawyer. Murphy is a very worthy man and talks about his religion and how many votes he controls—at least he modestly hints at this when he is around Protestants. Every election he gets up and speaks in tremolo voice over the radio, calls on Jefferson, the Flag, God and the Constitution, to witness his unselfish devotion to the Republic. He tells young lawyers they should be unselfish and cites all the sacrifices he has made.

He has never been for anything evil in his life; purity has been his emblem. He has always espoused public morality, and in every one of his speeches he says: "A public office is a public trust." He also proclaims: "Those are best governed who are least governed. My fel-l-ow Am-mer-i-kuns, those are the words of the immortal author of the Declaration of Independence"—explaining that this means we should all vote for a certain official whom he controls and before whom he practices law, representing special interests for big fees.

He has a lofty contempt for all demagogues. He has stated numerous times that he would never be a candidate for public office, knowing he could not be elected dog-catcher.

In all Clarkesville, there is not a better fellow. One drink, and he sails right over to Ireland, where he has never been in the flesh. The Irish say he's a faker, and that he doesn't control the votes he claims to control; in fact they say he is an Orange Irishman. But a lot of people believe J. J. is a big man; at least they did in the old days.

There are a lot of pious-faced, four-flushing lawyers who have been bleeding this country for years who ought to be dragged out into the daylight. They do not even give good advice to the corporations they represent.

There are other great men in Hometown; let us take Judge Horatius Smith, banker, utilities corporation lawyer, who is a Methodist. Like J. J., he thinks his religion is the only one, and thinks other people are narrow. But these two can always get together when it comes to the Constitution—if they can twist it to rob the people of natural resources.

Sometimes they do not speak to each other for months. But on election day they somehow get together, realizing the interests of the common people lie in the union of Murphy and the Judge. The Judge knows all about Due Process, and is a great constitutional lawyer; he can almost make a real judge cry over inalienable rights of the people, and get a judgment for the corporation he represents. If the Judge were a little younger a good nickname would be "Kid Twist."

If a man is killed through the negligence of some corporation, he represents such a corporation. Sometimes if the only survivor is a minor child, he gets a guardian appointed, and settles for a hundred or so dollars. That is his duty to his client; and he saves him a lot of money. However, his cause if righteous, and like the other lawyer, he loves and frequently speaks of Jefferson, the Flag, God and the Constitution, and often exhorts the politicians to observe their oaths of office, and to abolish all these uselss commissions—especially any commission which attempts to regulate the utilities he represents, and which might force decent rates for the consumers.

The pal of this Hometown Nobility is Dr. Joe Carter. He is actually an excellent doctor and a respected member of his profession. Concerning the government and the Constitution, he knows less than politicians do of pathology.

So all his extra time is taken up in orating about the Constitution, which unquestionably, from the tenor of his speeches, he has been too busy to read. Any public official who regards politics in the light of the same ethics as the doctor does his own profession he regards as a traitor, if not a damned crackpot, using untried theories. "Our forefathers wrote a great document for all time," he says. "All this experimentation must stop."

As a doctor, he is a radical, and a progressive scientist. In matters concerning economics and politics he is a medicine man and a demonologist. But he is a good fellow and everybody likes him. Not only that, he has a lot of influence.

Then I get to thinking of citizens who not only have brains but unselfishness and common sense. Take Frank Jones, Jr. He roars about sitdown strikes, but he permits the employees in his mills to organize, and pays decent wages. Also, he has read the Constitution. He does not rob and cheat people like Mr. Coward. He has brains enough to know the old order is over, and that he can't change the situation by shutting his eyes and yelling the loudest.

He belongs to an old family, but he does not think it necessary to look down on every one else because he inherited good health and a good name. And what makes Frank something of a suspect with the best people is that since leaving college he has committed the unpardonable sin of reading books on economics and similar radical subjects. Worse, he got right up in a Chamber of Commerce meeting one day and told the truth. No doubt Frank will come to a bad end.

Then there is Morris White, who runs a little garage, and who is the loudest-mouthed man in town. Morris has little school education. He feloniously assaults, and even murders, the King's English. When he writes a letter you can hardly tell whether he is writing in Hen Language or American, and you might as well read it upside down. He goes to meetings and heckles the speakers, he expresses his opinion on every subject, and he is right more often that the upper crust who have the smug-mugs. He sends his children to school, he pays his bills, and the violence of his talk is unparalleled. He lives a block from me, and is so noisy we can hear him at my house.

And then there are old man Keats and Herman Strockbein. Keats is a mechanic at an iron company, a union leader, and Herman is a mechanic at a sash and door company. Nobody ever heard of either of them in the local newspapers. They are not what you would call prominent or leading citizens. Our pal, the banker, is prominent, leading, and well known. On election day three or four hundred people vote under the influence of Mr. Keats or Herman, whereas the leadership of our patriotic banker, William Brown, causes people to vote opposite to whatever he is for, because he is indeed well known.

Influence is of two kinds—economic, and persuasive. The first one, based on pressure, is dying out. The smug-mugs are dead on their feet, and don't have sense enough to know it. Ordinary men of honest persuasion are beginning to take over leadership.

Around Clarkesville we have our quote of know-alls who think they understand just what the young people ought to do. They should do like our forefathers—go out and go to work. Yes, sir.

The tragic thing of it all is that some of these advice-givers really believe what they say. They claim to believe that pioneer opportunity is still as great as ever, and this in spite of the fences that are up—legal, actual, and imaginary. They say they cannot see that the same opportunities are not available. They do not seem to know there are no more roaming economic Indians, real or imaginary; nor any more land to steal from them.

For young and old, the scene has entirely changed. Let us admit that first, or we can solve absolutely nothing.

This group is the same everywhere in America. They are not the "economic royalists"—I don't like those words anyhow—they are just people who are too stupid and blind to see. As a class, they cannot, according to the way America has always thought, be classified as dishonest. They have robbed no hen-roosts, scuttled no ships, cut no throats. Not being of the crimial class, they judge themselves as good citizens, and cannot see that the Rock of Ideas to which they cling will be washed away. To judge them correctly, and to assess them in one word, they are ignorant.

The very fact that many of these people have their good qualities makes the situation worse. Many of them did come from humble beginnings, and have accumulated a little money. But they cannot see that this thing cannot go on forever, and that a new sun has risen.